It's been a while since I last posted, but...better late than never, right? I've been working on lots of projects lately, including packing for school. It's hard to believe that I will be moving into my dorm room next Sunday, the 19th. I was lying awake the other night, and I realized that things won't ever be quite the same after that. Granted, that's not necessarily a bad thing, but the thought does evoke some bittersweet emotions. My living arrangement, family relationships, friendships...all of those will be undergoing major changes over the next few years. I haven't really decided what I think about that. On one hand, I know that change has always been very uncomfortable for me. On the other hand, I know that God is orchestrating every detail of my life, including these changes. Clearly, this is shaping up to be a huge faith lesson.

*sigh* I guess that's most of the "big" stuff that's taking up space in my head. I'm sure the little stuff is probably what's stressing me out. Library books to be returned, phone calls to make, bills to pay...all those tiny little "to-dos" take their toll. However, I'm very proud of what I have to show for all my work on these scattered tasks and projects -- three soapmaking workshops booked, five Mary Kay classes booked, most of my shopping done and my boxes packed, and dancing lessons finally scheduled. This should be a good week. :)

Anyway, until I think of something profound to say, I'll take my leave and go eat some dinner. Au revoir!

Lindsey's Surprise :D

What a Week

I am so glad that God created a day of rest. After a week like I just had, I don't think I could do much else even if I tried! :P

Monday, 7 p.m.: go to Nathaniel's baptism and spontaneously hang out afterward

Tuesday morning: pack like crazy and leave for S.O.A.R. at UCA

Tuesday afternoon/evening: play stupid icebreaker games, attend workshops staffed by annoyingly immature student volunteers, play more pointless games

Tuesday night: go back to the dorm to try to sleep while freezing to death and listening to my snoring roommate

Wednesday morning: converse in French on the fly with a professor

Wednesday 12:15 p.m.: meet with my adviser, who introduces himself as "absent-minded" before attempting to help me choose classes

Wednesday afternoon: crash at home

Wednesday 8:30 p.m.: meet with friends for a trip to Branson...arrive after midnight

Thursday: spend all day at Silver Dollar City!

Thursday evening: drive through Sonic for free root beer floats...arrive home after midnight

Friday, 5:30 p.m.: go ballroom dancing with Lindsey

Friday/Saturday: stay up until 4:30 in the morning with Lindsey

Saturday afternoon: go into town to buy a birthday present

Saturday, 6:30 p.m.: go to Molly's birthday party!

Wow. I can't imagine how long this post would be if I went into detail about all the weird, wild, wacky, woeful, wearisome, and welcome things that happened this week. Maybe some other time. Right now, I'm going to get some popcorn and watch some Star Trek. And then maybe I'll work on reorganizing my notes from the UCA orientation and working on my summer schedule. Sundays are good for those kinds of things, too. :)

I found the coolest online music player today. You, all my tech-y friends, probably heard of it long ago, but I'll tell you about it anyway because I'm excited. (Besides, you may have forgotten.)

Pandora Radio

It's just so awesome. You simply enter a few of your favorite songs or artists, and it automatically tailors music playlists to your individual tastes (or moods). You can even ask it why it chose a particular song, and it will tell you something like: "We're playing this track because it features a horn ensemble, background string section, orchestral arrangment, jazz-pop style, and strong melodies." Or it might say something about "disco grooves and a dynamic male vocalist." Whatever you like, chances are they've got it. Oh, and did I mention that it's free?

So. Hah. That's my cool find for the day. Or maybe even for the week! :D Go try it out.

I received an interesting phone call this afternoon. It turns out that the father of one of the homeschool graduates last Saturday is an Army recruiter, and he evidently wants me in the Army. Unfortunately for him, I have no desire to enter the military. I wouldn't even survive boot camp! (Wouldn't that be pitiful? Then what would I do with all that tuition money they're supposed to throw at me?) :P At least the man was nice enough. Maybe too nice. He was very enthusiastic, and he made a point of remembering a lot about me from the graduation ceremony. He said that he took notes after he noticed what a gold mine he was sitting on -- or rather, watching walk across the stage. (My words, not his...hehe.)

Anyway, I refused his offer politely, needless to say. At the same time I wondered just how much interest he had in me -- for who I am, not just what I can offer him personally. I guess I'll never know. Some people have good intentions, others don't, and sometimes it's just hard to tell the difference between them.

I did it: I graduated!!

Ah, I'm finally getting myself back to normal. This week was just really weird for me...I guess because of all the emotional upheaval last weekend. It takes me awhile to readjust.

Tomorrow evening is the graduation party. I can't believe it's arrived so soon! I'm really looking forward to it -- to seeing old friends, eating lots of cake and punch, laughing and enjoying the celebration...

Hmm, now I've got to go work on the name placards for our display tables, and I have to finish getting all of the stuff together that's supposed to go on my achievements/awards/random stuff table. Yay.

Life Comes at You Fast

Yes, if I've learned one thing over the past year or so, it's that life does come at you fast. This last week has been weird. One day I'm ecstatic, the next I'm depressed. Unfortunately, today is one of the depressed days -- probably because I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed again. It's to be expected, I suppose, after the stress from last weekend.

For most of the week, things were going wonderfully...school was coming along well, the preparations for the graduation party were manageable, and my friend had an awesomely fun party at her house. Things started to get a little iffy on Saturday, though. It was insane...with a Mary Kay training class in the morning, which made me late for my orchestra rehearsal, which wasn't all that great anyway. I had to skip lunch and eat later, and then I ended up having about 5 minutes to get ready at home before leaving for Spider-Man 3 that night. It was well worth the hurry, though; we got there early enough to get the perfect seats, and the movie was incredible. It wasn't until I got home that things really changed. Mom told me that Grandma had left our house with Dad's cousin, gotten home, and then fallen as she was climbing onto the front porch. Dad didn't get home from the ER until 2am...

We soon found out that she had broken her hip, and it would have to be surgically repaired...or rather, replaced. I was the only one who made it to church Sunday morning, and I felt really weird all morning long. I couldn't really talk to anyone without feeling like I was about to burst into tears. Rev. J prayed for Grandma and our family during the pastoral prayer, and it was a huge comfort to be reminded that God would take care of everything for our good. Dad was already at the hospital by the time I got home, and by the time the rest of us were ready to join him, we were all at our wits' end with one another. Stress does crazy things to people. Things worked out better than we could have hoped that afternoon, though. Her surgery went very well, and she was alert and joking around soon after. Right now, she is already able to walk, and she'll start physical therapy in a couple of days at the rehab center. Dad saw her today and said that she looks and sounds better than she did when she was staying at our house last week! Needless to say, we are very thankful that God has blessed us with this healing.

Now...since a lot of that stress has dissipated, we have other things to focus on, like this graduation party. Things are not going exactly as we planned, and I've had my share of disappointments so far...but maybe things will work out eventually.

I should go work on some other things...phone calls, school, slideshows, and stuff...and maybe I'll write later.

~Grace

Procrastinating...

I guess I don't really have much to say; I just don't want to start reading "Paradise Lost." Today's British Literature assignment looks like the most grueling one I've had so far...all kinds of Biblical references, reading guide questions, and page after page of poetry to stumble through. *sigh* I'd much rather be studying Shakespeare than Milton...

I'm Here!

Hahaha, what a joke. I should have known I couldn't trust my good intentions. ;) I like writing, but evidently not enough to keep this updated like I'd hoped! Oh well...

Things are going much, MUCH better! I'm excited about so many things: graduation, my violin recital, having more time to spend with my awesome friends, graduation, being almost done with orchestra rehearsals FOREVER, graduation, having fewer deadlines, planning parties, and did I mention graduation? It's going to be wonderful! I'm not even stressed about it (and you know how extraordinarily gifted I am at stressing over things). The application for the ceremony is in, the pictures are done, the gown has arrived, and my speech is written. I've even been accepted into the residential college I wanted for this fall, which means it was worth expending all that effort on the application essay a few weeks ago.

I'm not really sure what happened, but last week my brain made some sort of connection...and all of a sudden, I realized that most of the things I was concerned about getting done weren't important at all. I only have a couple of school subjects, music practice, and a part-time business...the other projects were just fluff. (No pun intended.) I still have no clue where this revelation came from or why it came then, but I'm just glad it did. It was a huge relief! Now that I'm not trying to be a superhero, I have time to enjoy each day, which is good...very good. :)

My grandmother came to stay for the weekend last week and this week, and that has been good, too. In fact, it's been great. I haven't been able to spend this much quality time with her since I can remember! I'm so glad I have the opportunity to do it now, too. She is feeling so much better; it's absolutely amazing. Things finally came to a head with her husband a few weeks ago, and she decided it was best that they separate. We realize now that whether he knew it or not, he was burdening and abusing her emotionally. When I saw her for the first time after they separated, she declared that she was a new woman...and she really seemed to be! I had not ever seen her laugh or converse so brightly before. She told us that it was like being locked in a dungeon and finally being able to come out for fresh air. I was so happy for her! We're still praying that her husband gets the care he needs.

Hmm...I found this cool widget the other day and thought I'd give it a spin. What do you think?

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Until next time,
Grace

Lots of things are going on right now...but I'm working on a post! Staying on top of this blog is going to take a little more effort than I thought. ;)

Uncertainty is Never Certain

Well, at least things haven't changed as drastically as we thought they might. No one has moved in with us or anything like that yet. Everything slowed down a LOT after last weekend, and I'm not actually sure if that's a good thing. My dad has been dealing with a lot of stress from the situation, so I hope it begins to move toward resolution.

Today has been one of the worst days in my recent memory...it really should have been a Monday. Or a Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays. ;-) I won't bore you with all of the things that went wrong today; that list is too long. Instead, I think I'm going to get some sleep, because that normally helps a lot.

*sigh*

Tomorrow will be better.

Not a Huge Surprise

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

It amazes me how accurate these quizzes can be. Oh...I have to include this one, too. It's a little depressing, but I suppose that fits with the cynical side of me. ;-)

You Are Changing Leaves

Pretty, but soon dead.

What Part of Fall Are You?

And life happens.

It's hard to believe that so much can happen in just a few days' time. My life is starting to feel a little bit like the geriatric version Desperate Housewives. :-P (EDIT: I can't go into too much detail, but please do pray for our family.)

Thursday evening around 9 o'clock -- My parents find out that my grandma is being taken to the ER. She hadn't been eating regularly, and her stomach was extremely hard. Fortunately, my dad's cousin was still staying at her house with her and was able to drive her to the hospital. My parents met them there, and then my dad stayed overnight at my grandma's house with her 93 year old husband (he's not related to us). Mom didn't get home until 1 am.

Friday morning -- I find out that Grandma was suffering from an impaction, which is something I refuse to explain in detail here. (You can research it on Wikipedia if you have the desire to do so.) Even though she will recover from it quickly, we all realize that things will only go downhill from here. She is extremely weak, prone to falling, and unable to care for herself (much less her husband), so she will need someone to stay with her 24/7. At least we were already aware that things were heading in that direction, so we had been considering our options.

Friday afternoon -- We all find out that my grandma's husband is missing. His truck isn't at the house or the hospital, and everyone is worried. The last thing we ever want to hear is that he's out driving alone. He was supposed to be waiting for Dad at the house so they could pack him up and send him to his son's farm. Since there's nothing we can do, Mom, my siblings, and I continue with our afternoon plans and head into town to look for a dress for my senior pictures (scheduled for Saturday). Dad meets us at Dillard's, and I have a great time trying on dresses for him. The winner is a woodsy green satin gown; I can't wait to wear it!

Later Friday afternoon -- We discover that Grandma's husbandwent to the pharmacy before heading to the hospital, where he just missed Dad. We're all pretty upset by this point, especially since some other strange behavior of his has come to light. He also refuses to go out to his son's farm and wants to stay at the house. So, we visit Grandma at the hospital and grab dinner at Jason's Deli (my favorite!) before heading home.

Saturday morning -- Mom and I run around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to get ready for my senior pictures. Getting home late the night before didn't help matters, and we were very late leaving for the appointment. We ended up rescheduling it before we left the driveway because the photographer didn't want me to be rushed and stressed for these pictures. He's been looking forward to doing them for a long time, and we all want them to be great. We'll do them Sunday afternoon.

Saturday afternoon -- We clean, and we reorganize desk space. Yay. I have a Mary Kay skin care class to conduct, which goes reasonably well. Selling stuff makes me happy. :-)

Saturday evening -- We just don't know what to do. My grandma is released from the hospital, and she wants her husband out of the house. How do you go about kicking a 93 year old man out, even though he deserves it? And what are we going to do about taking care of Grandma? Will she be coming to stay with us, and if so...when? It's all up in the air.

Sunday -- Awesome photo shoot! We didn't get the formal shots because his camera batteries were drained, but the Statehouse was closing anyway when we got there. We spent 4 1/2 hours with him! I'm sure there will be some great ones to choose from, and maybe I'll post some here. Mom and I stopped at Carino's on the way home to get some Italian Nachos and Italian Cream Sodas...and did they ever hit the spot! We also got to talk a bit more about the situation with Grandma. It's all going to come down to Dad, and what he feels he needs to do at this point. There's obviously been a lot of praying going on. Grandma doesn't necessarily feel like her husband needs to leave anymore, but I'm not sure we've all come to the same conclusion. What a confusing mess.

So, yeah...that's what my weekend's been like. By next week, I could be moving out of my room and into my sister's -- or not. We just don't know. That's the hardest part of it all: the unknown. If I had a rough plan or a general idea of how things were going to progress, I'd feel a lot more comfortable. But, I don't. Now I really know what people mean when they talk about trusting God. All of the other times I thought I was trusting Him were illusions, because I had enough information to feel comfortable with the situation on my own. Now I don't have that security; all I have is the knowledge that these situations will work out for our good and His glory. Isn't that enough?

I'm a Traitor

Yes, I have officially tired of Xanga. I haven't posted there for months, partially due to lack of interest, but also partially due to busyness. Blogging just hasn't been a priority. Although it will most likely remain a non-priority for me right now, I think I'm ready to make a little more room for it as a hobby.

I think Blogger will be a better fit for me than Xanga or Facebook simply because I am not a social butterfly by nature. I hate the idea of feeling inextricably tied to an online social network where I'm expected to update my profile every time I eat some nachos or blow my nose. No offense intended; it's just not my thing. :) Some of you might live and breathe by such social networking tools...more power to you. I'll stick to my antisocial blog that I can update when I feel that something interesting is actually going on in my life -- no pressure, no guilt.

Just from my experience creating this account I can tell that I need to lighten up my blogging attitude. I was starting to obsess over finding the perfect blog name, the perfect URL, and the perfect screen name. (Will I ever learn that perfect doesn't exist? Especially in a hobby?) Evidently not. I'm still trying to get rid of the urge to create the perfect first post. *sigh* Oh well.

Bonsoir!