:)

Part 2

Tracing this supernatural chain events leads me back to the last Sunday in September, when I was at home for the weekend and went to church with my family. Mr. Tommy preached that Sunday morning about trials and their place in the life of a Christian:

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
– James 1:2-4

Although I couldn’t think of a way to apply the message to any particular situation in my life, I thought about Ali and her struggles with illness. At that point, she had been sick for the better part of a month first with a minor respiratory virus, then a mono-like virus, then bronchitis, then viral pneumonia, and then a stomach virus. I shared what I’d learned with her almost as soon as I walked in the door at the dorm later that afternoon, and she just looked at me with her trademark gaze of wonderment. (Fortunately, she wasn’t in awe of me, but in awe of God.) She related the events of her weekend, and it became obvious that the encouragement I had shared was quite timely, but not for the reason I thought it would be. Leave it to God to orchestrate something as perfect as that.

He didn’t stop there, though. The next Sunday, I went to church with Ali and learned about rendering to God what belongs to Him: namely myself. I bear His image, just like the coin that was used in the gospel story, and I should act as though I am His. For some reason, the Spirit was also beginning to make me sensitive to the principle of grace during the service. I honestly don’t know what triggered it, but I wrote the following prayer in my notebook: “So God, you’re more concerned with my heart? Why don’t I choose to live in your grace – why do I chase rules? Teach me to live by your Spirit, not by legalism.” I actually just rediscovered that prayer as I was flipping through my notebook, piecing this story together, and it amazes me to realize that God began answering that prayer just two days later, when I went to Bible study with Ali at Chris’s house.

That Tuesday, God taught us about holiness, grace, and peace in the context of our identity in Christ. I never thought I could get so much out of seemingly simple verses like these:

To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
– 1 Corinthians 1:2-3

Nevertheless, by the end of the evening, I was beginning to understand the depth of meaning in the words “who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus” and “saints by calling.” In Christ, I have a new nature: I am holy. There is no need to grovel with the “Pity me, the poor sinner” attitude anymore, because he has redeemed me. I have been set free to dance, sing, and play in peace at the foot of His throne as His precious, holy daughter. Also, there remains no reason for me to walk in sin, because it is completely incompatible with my new nature. Unfortunately, the tendency here is to get caught up in “doing” things for God in order to “be” holy. For example, going to church on Sundays: it is not holy in and of itself, but the desire to be with God and worship Him in church on Sundays springs from a nature of holiness. By the same token, taking a shower is not holy, but recognizing it as an opportunity to glorify God by caring for His temple flows from the holiness of the heart.

If only I realized that I already am holy by nature and that everything I do flows from that – how different would my life be? How different would I be if I actually believed what God says about me? I wouldn't be constantly striving or wallowing in the guilt of failure, that's for sure. I have had a tendency to get so caught up in the laws and the lists that I miss the heart of Christianity, but thankfully, God used this Tuesday night to begin changing my perspective.

To put the evening’s lesson in more succinct terms, it would be something like this: “In Christ, you are holy, so act like it.” For me, that meant letting go of my attempts to be holy by following the letter of the law and recognizing myself as the spotless daughter of the King. We also talked to a great extent about how we are standing in the riches His grace, which breaks us, strengthens us, and disciples us from the inside out. We also talked about peace, and how Christ himself is our peace. That was a revolutionary concept for me, because I’ve grown accustomed to asking for peace whenever I feel anxious or afraid. It hadn’t ever occurred to me that peace is already mine because I have the Prince of Peace.

Well, it’s nearly midnight, so I think I’ve told enough of the story for tonight. I’ll try to pick it back up tomorrow if I have the chance, but if not, I’ll continue soon. Just writing all of this out is immensely encouraging because it’s allowing me to see answered prayers and connections that I didn’t see before. I hope that it's encouraging to someone else as well, and above all, I pray that it glorifies my amazing God.

Grace and peace to you in Christ Jesus.

By the way...

This is one of the most stunningly beautiful sapphire rings I have ever seen.



Hey Dad...Christmas is coming up, or...my 21st birthday is next year...

A current post: part 1 of...?

I don’t even know where to start. I probably won’t be able to do the past few weeks justice anyway. Life seems like an intricate spiders’ web to me at the moment: designed, woven, connected, fragile, beautiful, and completely incomprehensible. I know I say this in nearly every entry that I write, but my God is so faithful. He has used every situation, every circumstance, every trial, and every triumph to capture my heart, strengthen my faith, and mature me into the woman He wants me to be. I feel like I’ve experienced more spiritual growth over the past month than I have in the past year combined. (Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know. All I know is that it’s been one of the most intense and yet the most amazing periods of my life.)

I’ve learned firsthand that the majority of spiritual growth doesn’t take place under sunny skies; it takes place in the midst of torrential rain, ominous thunder, jagged lightning, and driving hail. Spiritual growth emerges from trials. Of course, I’ve heard the Christian-ese about trials ever since Sunday School: hard things in life bring us closer to God. Trite, but true. The sermons have gone even deeper: trials push us to the end of ourselves, to point of breaking, to the point of utter dependency on God. I always wondered when my times of trial would come, because it never seemed like I dealt with a lot of heavy-duty hardship growing up. Granted, my struggle with OCD and depression was a trial, but not quite of the same nature. No, God evidently needed to bring me to a point in my life where I was mentally and emotionally stable and had a stronger spiritual foundation before incorporating these types of trials to deepen my faith.

So, if I told you now what my trials have been over the past month, you would probably laugh. Even to me, they don’t seem to be very noteworthy in and of themselves. But I can’t ignore the fact that God has been at work in my life, despite the foolishness of appearances. I’ve never truly experienced Him in this way before. I should insert a very important note here: if you tell God that you want Him to mature you, that you’re tired of drinking milk and want to move on to solid food, that you want to learn how to stand in strength on your own two feet as a woman of God in the fullness of the faith – mean it. Be ready. Because He’ll do it, and He won’t waste any time getting started.

I'll continue this tomorrow, or whenever I find the time or inspiration...

A back post

I am so … happy. No, excited. No…..amazed? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just falling in love with my God again. It reminds me of what Rev. Tommy shared a couple of Sundays ago. I don’t remember the rest of the sermon, only a desire he expressed: to see believers walking in a fresh revelation of God’s glory every day. His prayer was that Christ would never become stagnant, boring, or anything short of amazing to us.

He’s already answering that prayer (and it’s not like I should be surprised). Every time I turn around, I see Him bringing renewal to another area of my life, just as He said he wanted to do. I feel like I’m waking up again to so many things – my passion, my purpose, my intimacy with Him, my joy – things I’d forgotten, things I’d pushed aside, things I’d buried, things that were crowded out. Everything He touches has new life. For example, I didn’t realize how miserable I was, wandering around aimlessly, having lost sight of the purpose He’s given me. He’s placed me here at this university to bring Him glory. That foundational principle had been shoved to the back of my mind and buried under stress, school, and social issues, which is ironic, because living with that principle in mind is the only way to handle any of those situations. No wonder I was feeling depressed. I was trying to deal with life here without remembering why I was doing it – and Who was giving me the ability to do it. Those are two very awful things to forget.

Which Narnia Character Are You?

You Scored as Lucy Pevensie Lucy Pevensie 93% Aslan 83% Peter Pevensie 80% Oreius 73% Mr. Tumnus 73% Mrs. Beaver 70% Mr. Beaver 60% Edmund Pevensie 53% Ginarrbrik 50% Susan Pevensie 47% The White Witch 37%

thoughts, in two parts

Life can be so inconvenient. Why is there no one online to keep me distracted while I’m sitting in class? I suppose I’ll resort to writing instead.

Right now, I’m just hoping that I can get through this semester. It’s all weighing pretty heavily right now. Ali and I were actually discussing it a little bit this morning while we were getting ready in the bathroom, and we decided that our goal should be to just get through this week. I’m hoping that by then I will have finished enough of my major assignments to justify some guilt-free chill time, some time without any school-related responsibility on my mind. It’s probably not a realistic hope, but I like to set my ambitions high.

I had fun last week when Lindsey came to visit, though. :) We took pictures, hung out at the Toad Suck Dam playground, goofed off at IHOP, danced at Bop Club…you can see the evidence on Facebook. I wish that I could have seen Lindsey again before she left, but I was so swamped with homework that’s due Tuesday that I couldn’t get away last night. :(

Speaking of Bop Club, I wonder if I can carve out any time this semester to work on forming a dance club. I pushed the idea to the back of my mind as soon as the homework started piling up, but maybe I’ll have a little bit of time to devote to it later this month. If we can finish the process of being recognized as a club on campus and start meeting on a regular basis, maybe then we can start expanding and maybe get some RSO funding. I would really love it if Mike, Kim, or one of the other regulars from Bop Club could come and do a workshop for us. We’ve been ready to step it up for a while now; we just need someone to work with us a little bit. Unfortunately, the ballroom class that is being offered at the HPER right now is only covering the basics that our group has already learned.

And again, speaking of volunteering my time, I was finally able to take care of my table hosting duties for the CPC Banquet on Thursday.

...later today...

I really think that the enemy was doing his best to keep me from helping with the banquet, because I was slammed with fifteen billion crises over the past few weeks. With classes, unbelievable amounts of homework, illnesses, issues with people, and just life in general, I couldn't find the time to devote to it, so all of my invitations were last minute. Logically, one would assume that the results were disappointing, but you know what? God never ceases to amaze me. I felt like I was acting in obedience by going ahead and asking people on short notice, and He blessed it. Ali's pastor wants to talk with the director about the CPC, Jennifer's D-group wants to get involved with the ministry, and I have opportunity now to talk with several people I know within Chi Alpha and my social circle about it, too. I'm so excited -- even I didn't fill a table! I know that God will bring those He wants to bring to the banquet, and He'll use all of the other circumstances to accomplish His will, too. Hmm, this reminds me, after the craziness of this week is over, I should get in touch with the CPC here in town. I wonder if they need any help.

Heh, if I don't watch out, I won't have time to sleep...between being the new French Club President, doing outreach work with my new d-group, and working with the CPC, that's a lot of volunteer hours. I'd rather keep myself positively productive, though. There's no sense in wasting time hanging around the dorm doing busywork when there are more pressing things to be accomplished.

Anyway, it's getting late, and I should get some sleep. I just wanted to catch up a little. À toute à l'heure!

Ps. I think I figured out today why I'm constantly tired, even if I've only been working on homework for a couple of hours. The foreign language homework must be taxing my brain twice as much as homework in English. Doing two hours of French feels just as exhausting as four hours of something else. Now, isn't that convenient? :P It's a good thing I love this language. (Well, there is one cool thing about it: I just start speaking and writing it by accident sometimes, after I've spent a while working with an assignment. And I've even dreamed French, too...) Ok, I really am going to bed now.

Renewal

So, it’s nearly noon, and here I am still in bed. Ali and I intended to wake up and go to her church in Little Rock this morning, but we ended up falling asleep again after the alarm went off. That was kind of disappointing, but I’m sure we can spend some time in the Bible and in prayer today instead. Hopefully next week we’ll make it there.

As it is, it’s an absolutely, unbelievably *gorgeous* day outside. It took me a few minutes after I woke up to realize that the sky was blue and the sun was shining, because when I fell asleep last night, Ike was blowing through with tropical rains and 40 mph winds. I was expecting rain all day today, as well. Oh well, as much as I enjoy rain and storms, this day looks amazingly beautiful. We probably had enough tornado scares yesterday anyway. I would be in so much trouble if it stormed today, because it’s so distracting, and I have so much to do.

That reminds me – what kind of university designs a dorm without *any* kind of shelter for severe weather situations? When the tornado sirens went off yesterday afternoon, the RAs sent us to the lobby: a 2-story high room in the middle of the building whose walls are covered with windows. We might as well have been in a glass room. There is no basement, and there isn’t even a hallway or stairwell without windows. Whoever designed that building obviously shouldn’t have been contracted in Arkansas. :P

Anyway, it’s a little hard for me to believe that it’s September 14^th. As odd as this will sound, it seems like this semester is flying and crawling at the same time. (I just got a strange image of a baby in a superman cape…maybe I should sleep a little more.) :P Seriously now, perhaps the academic workload is speeding it up and the relational issues are slowing it down. My class work this semester seems to be more difficult and more involved than anything I encountered last year, so I’m working extremely hard to adapt. At the same time, the spiritual, emotional, and relational issues I’ve been dealing with since I moved into the dorm have also been more numerous and intense than anything I dealt with last year.

It’s a tough mixture of circumstances, but God has shown me lately that He really does know what He’s doing. (Imagine that!) Without these hardships, I wouldn’t be growing. Every single thing I’ve experienced has resulted in exponential personal growth, to the point where the person I was at the beginning of the summer probably wouldn’t recognize the person I am now.

One of the major catalysts in this change has been God working with me directly through Chi Alpha and D-group. The first week of Chi Alpha, I felt like He was calling me to surrender again, because I’d been trying to live life on my own for a while. I pretty much failed that first week, and then God confronted me with it again at the next Chi Alpha meeting. So, He was pushing me in that direction pretty hard when I showed up at D-group last Thursday. Let me just stop here and say that Meghan and Laura, our two D-group leaders, are two of the most Spirit-led young women I’ve ever met. When they pray, I know that I am going to personally encounter God in amazing ways. At the end of our “getting to know each other” meeting, we started to share some prayer requests so that Meghan and Laura could pray for us before we left. Most of the prayer requests weren’t very in-depth or detailed, but when Meghan started praying, she started discerning God’s voice and speaking His words over us. For Ali, God was saying that he wanted to restore her life and gave her guidance for a particular situation. For me, He needed to be a little blunter. His word for me was “renewal,” but He was saying that in order for renewal to come, I have to let go. I have to release my mental death grip on my life. I have to be still, know that He is God, and trust Him. It breaks His heart and wounds him so deeply when I get so wrapped up in myself, in my worry, and in my confusion, because He wants to take care of everything. A confused and burdened mind is not His will for me, and I’m going to miss His best in my life if I don’t learn to let go and fall into Him. After all, He just wants us to love Him, to run to Him, to want to be close to Him. Now, that’s exactly what I want to do every single day. Before, I would have been worrying about what exactly He meant by “renewal” and what exactly He wanted me to let go of. But now, He’s made me realize that all He wants is for me to run to Him with everything and get caught up in Him. That’s what really matters. In other words, even though I’m not yet entirely sure of what He’s doing, that’s just fine with me. I’m perfectly content to figure it out with Him.

So, it’s possible that none of that made sense; for some reason, it tends to be a tangled mess in words. In my heart, though, it’s just an overwhelming sense of peace, and that’s all that matters.

Maybe this will make things a little more comprehensible. Yesterday in the car, one verse of this song caught my attention, and I realized that it speaks in so many ways to what I'm experiencing. Here's the video and the lyrics:

Sanctus Real - Whatever You’re Doing
From the album We Need Each Other

It’s time for healing, time to move on,
it’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong;
it’s time to find my way to where I belong

Chorus:
There’s a wave that’s crashing over me, and all I can do is surrender
Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but somehow there’s peace
And it’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see, but I’m giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone, time to begin again, re-evaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything – I surrender

Chorus:

Time to face up, clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out that I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but I believe …
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life, something heavenly

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life
Something heavenly, something heavenly

Time to face up, clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Label: Chordant (EMI)

-Grace

Midnight Musings

Well, it's 12:23 a.m. and I don't think I have enough intellectual stamina to continue my analysis of Aimé Césaire and his view of humanism. I think it would be wisest to leave that for tomorrow when my mind is fresh, as much as I wanted to have finished my homework today. I just have so much this weekend:

• Six modules of Gen. Psych.
• One chapter of Political Statistics and some homework
• Three French Grammar/Comp readings
• Several pages of French workbook exercises
• Twenty-something pages of "Discours sur le colonialisme" d'Aimé Césaire, and then a reread of the entire book
• A one-page response/analysis of Aimé Césaire's view of humanism, in French

And it's not that the work isn't interesting; it's just complicated and assigned in huge quantities over a very short period of time. I would love to have more time to delve into this study of Francophone culture, but as it is, I feel rushed. Just as a result of reading Aimé Césaire, I've discovered so many people and concepts, both pertinent and extraneous, that I would like to research if I had the time. Unfortunately, I don't. Gosh, tonight I felt like I was drowning in a sea of -isms: humanism, colonialism, surrealism, communism, fascism, racism, tribalism, capitalism, nazism. Each of them plays an integral role in 20th century Francophone culture; figuring out how is both fascinating and mind-boggling.

*sigh* It's one of the things I hate about the traditional college education system: it really isn't about education. Simply turning my assignments in on time doesn't mean I've learned anything. I think spending a day with Google and Wikipedia would be exponentially more productive, not to mention intellectually enriching.

Anyway, I suppose those are my thoughts for the night. My goal is to finish all of my homework tomorrow so that I can enjoy the rest of my long weekend, because I don't want to think about any assignments on Monday - none at all. I think it's an achievable goal.

first day back

It's time for a list post, because I'm too tired to write any more than that:

1. Nothing much changes in the family in 5 weeks.
2. Corollary to #1: grocery shopping with my brother is the same adventure it always was.
3. My luggage arrived at my door this morning.  :)
4. I remember how to drive.  Woohoo!
5. I'm scared of this week...

More tomorrow...enjoy the Olympics (and yes, Team USA is just better)!

Samedi - Coming Home!

Wow, it's over!  I'm done rushing through customs, running through airports, losing luggage...and, unfortunately speaking French every day.  I'm going to be hunting down francophones at UCA, so beware!!

It's funny, one of the first things I noticed during my flights home was how being immersed in French culture had trained my mind.  When the flight attendant started coming down the aisle with refreshments, my brain automatically kicked in to gear and started thinking of ways to ask for things in French.  "Puis-j’avoir du café? Est-ce que vous avez du café? No wait, I can just ask her if she has any coffee."  :P  (And I needed some, too, having not had time for lunch.)  

And that reminds me of another thing I've realized: I feel fearless.  I've dealt with so many difficult situations in French that dealing with things in English won't be a big deal.  Even talking to the UCA Housing Office... :P  And classes in English?  Yeah, I think I can handle those.  (At least, I'm hoping.  I just took a look at my new Statistics in Political Analysis book.  !!! )

Hopefully my suitcases will be delivered tomorrow...I wasn't too worried about it tonight (I was too busy enjoying my Italian Nachos and blackberry cream soda at Carino's).  They just got stuck in Detroit because there wasn't enough time for them to get them on my connecting flight.  I actually just made it to the gate in time for boarding.  Oh well.  I'm tired, so I'm going to bed - 'night!

Ps.  I CAN FINALLY USE MY PHONE AGAIN!  So...call me!!  :D

Vendredi

Whew, two exams, a party, goodbyes, shopping, and packing. What a day. These two exams were actually two of the easiest, I think because they required more synthesis than her other tests. After we finished those, everyone headed back up to the classroom for a final get-together brunch with muffins, coffee, fruit, chocolate (mmm!), and this awesome peanut butter/cinnamon apple dessert that Megan made. Of course, we exchanged Facebook names and took tons of pictures. I think my favorite part, though, was giving Suzanne her card and gift. We had all donated a few dollars to buy her a nice gift for her time and effort in teaching us over the last five weeks. She’s had a rough time of it, since her father has been in the hospital for most of that time, so the spa package that Lindsay chose for her was perfect.  

It was pretty funny: Suzanne also took the opportunity with me and Megan to gossip about the few students who weren’t there who had evidently driven her crazy throughout the session. It was slightly awkward and probably inappropriate, but it wasn’t like we hadn’t already come to the same conclusions. Some of the Anglophone Canadians in the program didn’t bother to study or even to respect the professors because the government was paying for everything. It was just a chance for them to party. Oh well. Whatever. It just goes to show that if you don’t earn it or pay for it, chances are you won’t value it. And, more importantly, if you don’t really want it, you won’t work for it.

So, Megan, Amy and I had to say our goodbyes after lunch, and then David and I stopped in at the farewell picnic with the animators and some of the professors. I wasn’t interested in going, but a couple of our classmates told us to check it out because my name had been called in a prize drawing. I did, indeed, win a CD of Québecois music. Then, they started passing out souvenir ‘license plates.’ And a few minutes later, they started handing out tickets for another drawing, and my number was the first one called. It was crazy. The prize was a nice hardcover book about Québec, which I was more than happy to get. So…after I’d won just about everything I could win, I headed over to the campus store to grab a hoodie, and then I walked home – in the rain again. Lol 

Mme. F is so thoughtful : she gave me a book about Québec to help me remember all of the places I visited, and a calendar with pictures, so that I could see it every day. :) I think I know what I’m going to send her as a thank-you gift for taking care of me: a recipe book. She adores cooking (and loves looking up cooking-related vocabulary), so I think it’ll be perfect. Oh yeah, it was really amusing watching her make a list of fish and seafood in English. Half of the vocabulary was so specific that most Americans would never use it. I’d never even heard of a couple of the types of fish. But, whatever!

Jeudi

It must be these jeans. When I wear them, I end up getting soaked. :P I love walking home in the rain.

Anyway, the longer this week lasts, the more exhausted I am. I thought I would feel like going to some more museums, but I’m too tired. (It’s probably for the best, because it gives me more time to study.) It’s also still raining, like I said. Mme. F says that she can’t remember a summer when it’s rained this much. They received a record-breaking amount of snow last winter, and they’ve already received a record-breaking amount of rain this summer.  

Megan, Amy, and I attempted to say our goodbyes today over lunch, and then we decided that we would be able to meet again tomorrow, so we put that off. This afternoon, I wanted to go to Vieux-Port again, but it wouldn’t have worked very well with all the rain. Mme. F offered to drive me, though, since she already had somewhere to go. Unfortunately, there was a huge traffic jam on the highway, so she ended up dropping me off at the bus stop instead. Oh well, I finished my gift shopping at the Marché du Vieux-Port and enjoyed walking through the Fête de Nouvelle France on my way back to the bus stop. Everything was decked out in a celebration of French Canadian history (including the people – the costumes were interesting!). I loved the traditional music they were playing, too; it reminded me of the square in Mountain View. It was a good end to my last afternoon in Vieux-Québec.

Mercredi

It’s cold, rainy, and windy – in other words, it’s a perfect day for some Starbucks. I never thought that I would be craving a Cinnamon Dolce latte in the middle of summer, but I am! :P I’ve only seen one Starbucks here, though, and it’s on the other side of campus. I don’t have a bus pass either, so my movements are rather limited.

Making coffee at home works, too…so that’s what I did this afternoon. That, and a lot of studying. I have more tests to take this week, and the subject matter is a little more complicated: future/conditional and subjunctive/indicative. There are two big tests coming up on Friday, and I have a couple of oral exams to take as well. I’m not too concerned about them, though; on the contrary, I think they’ll be rather easy.

Mom sent me this link this morning to give me a laugh. I think you’ll enjoy it, too. The horse cake was at the top when I checked it. My favorite is the “Nov/Dec Birthdays” cake.

Tonight, I wanted to go to the international fireworks competition finale, but it was still rainy and damp, and Mme. F and I decided that it wouldn’t be worth it, especially with all of the clouds and fog. So, we had a girls movie night instead! We watched a Belgian film called “Les Choristes.” It was such a charming movie. I really enjoyed it. :)  

Mardi

Today was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was shining, the temperature was just right, and it wasn’t raining! I was really tired, though, so I enjoyed the day from the comfort of my easy chair and did some studying. (No, I don’t think I missed out on anything; I love the sunshine and the breeze coming through the window just as much as being outside sometimes.)  

Ok, random musing: I was thinking today while I was walking to school that I really want to be an old lady someday. (Bear with me.) There's just something about them, with carefully coiffed hair, a little bit of red lipstick, a neatly tailored skirt, high heels – not too high, but just high enough - tastefully chosen jewelry, and a demeanor that exudes a certain surety that I both admire and covet. Looking into their eyes, I see a coexistence of self-confidence and humility that seems to say that they've learned that are strong enough handle life’s storms, but fragile enough to be human. They don’t pretend to be more than they are, and they seem content and at peace with life. They aren’t striving. There’s just something about old ladies that makes me feel like everything is alright.  Alright, end of random musing.  ;)

I had a consultation with my oral expression teacher today, and I was extremely encouraged by the feedback I received from her. After making some corrections and comments on my last oral test to help me improve, she told me that my “phonetique” (pronunciation, intonation, etc) overall was excellent. That made me quite happy, because speaking is what gives me the most trouble. I was also elated when she told me she thought I was speaking at the “advanced” level now. Of course, I already felt like I`d made a lot of progress over the past 5 weeks, but having it confirmed by the teacher was encouraging. Now I know it`s not all in my head.  :) 

Another interesting comment she made was in regards to the speed of my spoken French. She actually told me that I speak quickly, which surprised me. I feel like I speak at a turtle’s pace, but I suppose she`s talking about the instances when I know what I want to say and I’m not searching for a lot of words. Anyway, she said that I speak clearly at the same time, so my spoken French is very understandable. She finished the consultation by noting that my oral and grammar skills seem to be more or less at an equivalent level now. Closing that gap was actually one of my goals while I was here, so I’m satisfied with the progress I seem to have made toward achieving it.

I think the most encouraging thing she said, though, was that she hoped I would continue to study French.  :D

Lundi

I never really noticed before how much of an age difference there seems to be between me and the other students here. Of course, there’s an obvious difference between me and the people over 30, but for the most part, the other students are 21-25 years old. I wasn’t expecting that. It’s interesting to be talking with someone and ask them what they’re majoring in, and have them tell you, “Oh, I’m about to enter medical school” or “I’m graduating with a degree in ___ next spring.”  

Anyway, I decided to capitalize on one of my last afternoons here and visit some museums. I found the Augustine museum and the Sœurs de Bon-Pasteur museum; unfortunately, they were both closed on Mondays. I did realize that I now have a good sense of where most things are, which makes my outings much more enjoyable. Now I can find my way around the little streets in Vieux-Québec without getting lost! Woohoo!  

 Rue Couillard, I think.

Augustine Church/Museum

So, I decided to walk down to the Vieux-Port area to find the Musée de la Civilisation, browse the exhibitions, and check it off of my list. Happily, no one tried to speak English with me while I was there, and the exhibition on the history of gold was quite intriguing. I was so proud of myself: I went on the guided tour in French, not English. I didn’t understand everything, of course, but I picked up on a lot more than I would have 5 weeks ago. I was also one of the only ones in the group who knew the name of the sports team named after the Gold Rush (the 49ers) and could really pronounce it. It was pretty funny: when she asked who knew it, I said “49ers” with my lovely English accent, and for the next minute or two I kept catching people in the group staring at me. I found it amusing.

By the time I had finished a walk around the exhibit on my own, it was nearly closing time, and I was starving, so I decided to head back to the house for dinner. Mme. F had sliced avocado on the table, a salad, and shrimp that were about to come out of the oven. (It smelled so good.) Unfortunately, as soon as Elizabeth and I had seated ourselves at the table, we heard this awful explosion in the kitchen. Mme. F was alright, thank goodness, but dinner wasn’t. She had added cold water to the hot pan under the shrimp in the oven, and it had shattered into a million pieces. So…we got sushi.

(Btw, I'm addicted to sushi now...are there any good places in Conway?)

Elizabeth left after dinner for a trip to Maine with some friends, so it looks like it’ll be pretty quiet around here for the rest of the week.

Sunday - Dimanche

Today was my last visit to St. Mark’s Church. It was sad; however, I did have the opportunity to share in Communion with the congregation here. That was a very special experience for me, not because there was anything remarkably different about it (it was very similar to Sylvania), but because it signified the unity of the Church. Amy, Megan, and I were all visiting from different places in the United States, and there were other visitors from other locations as well, but we were all remembering and identifying with Christ together. Another thing that struck me this morning was the significance of the elements. (That is to say, another aspect of their meaning.) They’re like baptism: a symbol of dying and being raised to life again. When you eat the bread, it’s a representation of dying with Christ (for I was crucified with Christ…), and when you drink the wine, it’s a representation of living in His life (…and yet I live…). I suppose I’ve realized that before, but for some reason it was in the forefront of my mind today. Perhaps God was just asking me to apply it.

I actually understood the majority of the service today; I’ve made a lot of progress. I plan on looking up some of the songs we’ve sung in French when I get back. I wonder if French hymnbooks are readily available on Amazon…

Anyway, I talked with the pastor’s wife for a little while before I left. (I wish I had a picture of her and her family, because you guys would not believe how much they look like my own pastor’s family.) She and her husband had just returned from a family vacation to Ontario, where they were immersed in English once again. (They are originally Anglophones.) She said it’s still difficult coming back – even though they speak French fluently now. We shared our frustrations, because she’s been through the same things I’m experiencing, and it was nice to know that someone understood. After all, I think that one of the most important (and helpful) things I’ve learned since I arrived was just how much I don’t know. Another things we talked about was how you feel so stifled sometimes when there are things you want to say, but you have no idea how to say them. And then there are those things that fall by the wayside when you’re trying to communicate in a foreign language – like courtesy. Sometimes you just have to say, “Forget the please and thank you, and all the polite conjugations. Just tell me where the bathroom is!” And I loved the other example she used: “You know, when you call tech support and you get that stupid twirp in India who you can’t understand, and you’re so irritated…well, now you’re that stupid twirp.” We both agreed that learning a second language is indeed a humbling experience. (I wouldn’t trade it, by the way.)

We also started talking about my home church, Sylvania, and the different issues we’ve been facing there with the influx of young families in the area but an aging congregation. She said that they’ve encountered similar difficulties in finding ways to reach out to the community, and her advice was to find ways to meet the people where they are, perhaps by providing a babysitting service once a month, or something like that. I’m going to talk to Mom about it when I get home, because I know the Ladies Circle has already started doing some community outreach like that, so maybe they would be interested. 

Oh, and the pastor’s wife also told me that if I ever wanted to come back to Québec to study and work to send them an e-mail. They might be able to hook me up with a job and an apartment. I’m definitely going to keep that in mind, because Québec occupies a special place in my heart now.

Samedi - le derniére

This morning was wonderful : j’ai fait la grasse matinée.  :)

So yeah, I slept in, and then I whipped up some oatmeal pancakes and blueberry sauce for Mme. F. Yum! She really seemed to like the recipe and wanted me to give it to her so she could share it with her sister. So, unless she’s on bad terms with her sister, I’m inclined to think she really did like it. ;) The French was flowing freely this morning, and I enjoyed our conversation in the kitchen and over breakfast. It was nice to have the time to just talk.

She was kind enough to drive me to the local convenience store to buy bus tickets, and then over to the bus stop to meet Amy and Megan for another afternoon of sight-seeing and shopping. When they arrived, we spent 10 minutes weighing their options: would it be better to split a day pass, buy individual tickets, or renew the monthly pass? It was a bit confusing, and in the end, none of the options were very affordable. But they decided to share a day pass and we were on our way.

We found a traditional folk artisan exhibit in the Maison Chevalier during our wanderings today. I was fascinated by this booth, where the man not only makes violins; he decorates them as well. His etchings and designs were so intricate and ornate. Beautiful!  

We also spent a lot of time in the Marché du Vieux-Port again, trying blueberry/raspberry/chocolate crêpes, buying jewelry and gifts, and talking to the vendors.

Among our other discoveries:

They like meat pastes here...it's weird.

This is one of the smallest named streets I've ever seen.  It was really an alley, named after the dogs that used to run through it.

Here was a fountain we found near the Rue St. Paul.  We stopped to take pictures of the cute little kids who were splashing in it.

This is one of the cute kids.

And the same cute kid - I have lots of pictures of him.

This just made me laugh.
Unfortunately, Megan had to leave us before dinner because it looked like it was going rain, and she had promised her host mom that she’d take down the laundry from the clothesline. Amy and I looked around for a little while for a restaurant, since I hadn’t eaten out in Vieux-Québec before, and we found this one:

Saint James

It was a lovely little bistro, and we decided to order their “forfait” – which is an all-inclusive meal for two. We discovered that the restaurant’s specialty was its in-house pasta chef, who makes all of the pasta dishes to order. Our meal included a choice of escargot, Caesar salad, or soup as an appetizer, two pizzas/one pizza & one pasta/two pastas for the main course, bread, ½ liter house wine, and crème brulée. We both had the escargot (yum), and then we ordered a veggie pizza and designed our own pasta dish with all sorts of delicious things (it was awesome). Speaking in English, it was crazy how many things Amy and I found that we had in common. We had plenty of time to talk, since the staff gave us a lot of time between courses, and we had to wait for thirty minutes after we finished to get our bill. I’m not really sure why…it was strange. Anyway, by the time I got off of the bus at the University and started the walk home, it had started raining again. It figures.  

Oh yeah, and I set off the smoke alarm in the house tonight. :P I turned on the fan in the bathroom downstairs after my shower as usual, but it evidently didn’t take care of all of the humidity this time. Elizabeth, Francis, and I couldn’t figure out what it was at first, because there weren’t any lights flashing on the alarm upstairs, and it wasn’t the house security system, but it finally dawned on us.
Ah well.