A current post: part 1 of...?

I don’t even know where to start. I probably won’t be able to do the past few weeks justice anyway. Life seems like an intricate spiders’ web to me at the moment: designed, woven, connected, fragile, beautiful, and completely incomprehensible. I know I say this in nearly every entry that I write, but my God is so faithful. He has used every situation, every circumstance, every trial, and every triumph to capture my heart, strengthen my faith, and mature me into the woman He wants me to be. I feel like I’ve experienced more spiritual growth over the past month than I have in the past year combined. (Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know. All I know is that it’s been one of the most intense and yet the most amazing periods of my life.)

I’ve learned firsthand that the majority of spiritual growth doesn’t take place under sunny skies; it takes place in the midst of torrential rain, ominous thunder, jagged lightning, and driving hail. Spiritual growth emerges from trials. Of course, I’ve heard the Christian-ese about trials ever since Sunday School: hard things in life bring us closer to God. Trite, but true. The sermons have gone even deeper: trials push us to the end of ourselves, to point of breaking, to the point of utter dependency on God. I always wondered when my times of trial would come, because it never seemed like I dealt with a lot of heavy-duty hardship growing up. Granted, my struggle with OCD and depression was a trial, but not quite of the same nature. No, God evidently needed to bring me to a point in my life where I was mentally and emotionally stable and had a stronger spiritual foundation before incorporating these types of trials to deepen my faith.

So, if I told you now what my trials have been over the past month, you would probably laugh. Even to me, they don’t seem to be very noteworthy in and of themselves. But I can’t ignore the fact that God has been at work in my life, despite the foolishness of appearances. I’ve never truly experienced Him in this way before. I should insert a very important note here: if you tell God that you want Him to mature you, that you’re tired of drinking milk and want to move on to solid food, that you want to learn how to stand in strength on your own two feet as a woman of God in the fullness of the faith – mean it. Be ready. Because He’ll do it, and He won’t waste any time getting started.

I'll continue this tomorrow, or whenever I find the time or inspiration...