Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Part 2
Tracing this supernatural chain events leads me back to the last Sunday in September, when I was at home for the weekend and went to church with my family. Mr. Tommy preached that Sunday morning about trials and their place in the life of a Christian:
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
– James 1:2-4
Although I couldn’t think of a way to apply the message to any particular situation in my life, I thought about Ali and her struggles with illness. At that point, she had been sick for the better part of a month first with a minor respiratory virus, then a mono-like virus, then bronchitis, then viral pneumonia, and then a stomach virus. I shared what I’d learned with her almost as soon as I walked in the door at the dorm later that afternoon, and she just looked at me with her trademark gaze of wonderment. (Fortunately, she wasn’t in awe of me, but in awe of God.) She related the events of her weekend, and it became obvious that the encouragement I had shared was quite timely, but not for the reason I thought it would be. Leave it to God to orchestrate something as perfect as that.
He didn’t stop there, though. The next Sunday, I went to church with Ali and learned about rendering to God what belongs to Him: namely myself. I bear His image, just like the coin that was used in the gospel story, and I should act as though I am His. For some reason, the Spirit was also beginning to make me sensitive to the principle of grace during the service. I honestly don’t know what triggered it, but I wrote the following prayer in my notebook: “So God, you’re more concerned with my heart? Why don’t I choose to live in your grace – why do I chase rules? Teach me to live by your Spirit, not by legalism.” I actually just rediscovered that prayer as I was flipping through my notebook, piecing this story together, and it amazes me to realize that God began answering that prayer just two days later, when I went to Bible study with Ali at Chris’s house.
That Tuesday, God taught us about holiness, grace, and peace in the context of our identity in Christ. I never thought I could get so much out of seemingly simple verses like these:
To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
– 1 Corinthians 1:2-3
Nevertheless, by the end of the evening, I was beginning to understand the depth of meaning in the words “who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus” and “saints by calling.” In Christ, I have a new nature: I am holy. There is no need to grovel with the “Pity me, the poor sinner” attitude anymore, because he has redeemed me. I have been set free to dance, sing, and play in peace at the foot of His throne as His precious, holy daughter. Also, there remains no reason for me to walk in sin, because it is completely incompatible with my new nature. Unfortunately, the tendency here is to get caught up in “doing” things for God in order to “be” holy. For example, going to church on Sundays: it is not holy in and of itself, but the desire to be with God and worship Him in church on Sundays springs from a nature of holiness. By the same token, taking a shower is not holy, but recognizing it as an opportunity to glorify God by caring for His temple flows from the holiness of the heart.
If only I realized that I already am holy by nature and that everything I do flows from that – how different would my life be? How different would I be if I actually believed what God says about me? I wouldn't be constantly striving or wallowing in the guilt of failure, that's for sure. I have had a tendency to get so caught up in the laws and the lists that I miss the heart of Christianity, but thankfully, God used this Tuesday night to begin changing my perspective.
To put the evening’s lesson in more succinct terms, it would be something like this: “In Christ, you are holy, so act like it.” For me, that meant letting go of my attempts to be holy by following the letter of the law and recognizing myself as the spotless daughter of the King. We also talked to a great extent about how we are standing in the riches His grace, which breaks us, strengthens us, and disciples us from the inside out. We also talked about peace, and how Christ himself is our peace. That was a revolutionary concept for me, because I’ve grown accustomed to asking for peace whenever I feel anxious or afraid. It hadn’t ever occurred to me that peace is already mine because I have the Prince of Peace.
Well, it’s nearly midnight, so I think I’ve told enough of the story for tonight. I’ll try to pick it back up tomorrow if I have the chance, but if not, I’ll continue soon. Just writing all of this out is immensely encouraging because it’s allowing me to see answered prayers and connections that I didn’t see before. I hope that it's encouraging to someone else as well, and above all, I pray that it glorifies my amazing God.
Grace and peace to you in Christ Jesus.
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
– James 1:2-4
Although I couldn’t think of a way to apply the message to any particular situation in my life, I thought about Ali and her struggles with illness. At that point, she had been sick for the better part of a month first with a minor respiratory virus, then a mono-like virus, then bronchitis, then viral pneumonia, and then a stomach virus. I shared what I’d learned with her almost as soon as I walked in the door at the dorm later that afternoon, and she just looked at me with her trademark gaze of wonderment. (Fortunately, she wasn’t in awe of me, but in awe of God.) She related the events of her weekend, and it became obvious that the encouragement I had shared was quite timely, but not for the reason I thought it would be. Leave it to God to orchestrate something as perfect as that.
He didn’t stop there, though. The next Sunday, I went to church with Ali and learned about rendering to God what belongs to Him: namely myself. I bear His image, just like the coin that was used in the gospel story, and I should act as though I am His. For some reason, the Spirit was also beginning to make me sensitive to the principle of grace during the service. I honestly don’t know what triggered it, but I wrote the following prayer in my notebook: “So God, you’re more concerned with my heart? Why don’t I choose to live in your grace – why do I chase rules? Teach me to live by your Spirit, not by legalism.” I actually just rediscovered that prayer as I was flipping through my notebook, piecing this story together, and it amazes me to realize that God began answering that prayer just two days later, when I went to Bible study with Ali at Chris’s house.
That Tuesday, God taught us about holiness, grace, and peace in the context of our identity in Christ. I never thought I could get so much out of seemingly simple verses like these:
To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
– 1 Corinthians 1:2-3
Nevertheless, by the end of the evening, I was beginning to understand the depth of meaning in the words “who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus” and “saints by calling.” In Christ, I have a new nature: I am holy. There is no need to grovel with the “Pity me, the poor sinner” attitude anymore, because he has redeemed me. I have been set free to dance, sing, and play in peace at the foot of His throne as His precious, holy daughter. Also, there remains no reason for me to walk in sin, because it is completely incompatible with my new nature. Unfortunately, the tendency here is to get caught up in “doing” things for God in order to “be” holy. For example, going to church on Sundays: it is not holy in and of itself, but the desire to be with God and worship Him in church on Sundays springs from a nature of holiness. By the same token, taking a shower is not holy, but recognizing it as an opportunity to glorify God by caring for His temple flows from the holiness of the heart.
If only I realized that I already am holy by nature and that everything I do flows from that – how different would my life be? How different would I be if I actually believed what God says about me? I wouldn't be constantly striving or wallowing in the guilt of failure, that's for sure. I have had a tendency to get so caught up in the laws and the lists that I miss the heart of Christianity, but thankfully, God used this Tuesday night to begin changing my perspective.
To put the evening’s lesson in more succinct terms, it would be something like this: “In Christ, you are holy, so act like it.” For me, that meant letting go of my attempts to be holy by following the letter of the law and recognizing myself as the spotless daughter of the King. We also talked to a great extent about how we are standing in the riches His grace, which breaks us, strengthens us, and disciples us from the inside out. We also talked about peace, and how Christ himself is our peace. That was a revolutionary concept for me, because I’ve grown accustomed to asking for peace whenever I feel anxious or afraid. It hadn’t ever occurred to me that peace is already mine because I have the Prince of Peace.
Well, it’s nearly midnight, so I think I’ve told enough of the story for tonight. I’ll try to pick it back up tomorrow if I have the chance, but if not, I’ll continue soon. Just writing all of this out is immensely encouraging because it’s allowing me to see answered prayers and connections that I didn’t see before. I hope that it's encouraging to someone else as well, and above all, I pray that it glorifies my amazing God.
Grace and peace to you in Christ Jesus.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
By the way...
This is one of the most stunningly beautiful sapphire rings I have ever seen.
Hey Dad...Christmas is coming up, or...my 21st birthday is next year...
Hey Dad...Christmas is coming up, or...my 21st birthday is next year...
Friday, October 10, 2008
A current post: part 1 of...?
I don’t even know where to start. I probably won’t be able to do the past few weeks justice anyway. Life seems like an intricate spiders’ web to me at the moment: designed, woven, connected, fragile, beautiful, and completely incomprehensible. I know I say this in nearly every entry that I write, but my God is so faithful. He has used every situation, every circumstance, every trial, and every triumph to capture my heart, strengthen my faith, and mature me into the woman He wants me to be. I feel like I’ve experienced more spiritual growth over the past month than I have in the past year combined. (Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know. All I know is that it’s been one of the most intense and yet the most amazing periods of my life.)
I’ve learned firsthand that the majority of spiritual growth doesn’t take place under sunny skies; it takes place in the midst of torrential rain, ominous thunder, jagged lightning, and driving hail. Spiritual growth emerges from trials. Of course, I’ve heard the Christian-ese about trials ever since Sunday School: hard things in life bring us closer to God. Trite, but true. The sermons have gone even deeper: trials push us to the end of ourselves, to point of breaking, to the point of utter dependency on God. I always wondered when my times of trial would come, because it never seemed like I dealt with a lot of heavy-duty hardship growing up. Granted, my struggle with OCD and depression was a trial, but not quite of the same nature. No, God evidently needed to bring me to a point in my life where I was mentally and emotionally stable and had a stronger spiritual foundation before incorporating these types of trials to deepen my faith.
So, if I told you now what my trials have been over the past month, you would probably laugh. Even to me, they don’t seem to be very noteworthy in and of themselves. But I can’t ignore the fact that God has been at work in my life, despite the foolishness of appearances. I’ve never truly experienced Him in this way before. I should insert a very important note here: if you tell God that you want Him to mature you, that you’re tired of drinking milk and want to move on to solid food, that you want to learn how to stand in strength on your own two feet as a woman of God in the fullness of the faith – mean it. Be ready. Because He’ll do it, and He won’t waste any time getting started.
I'll continue this tomorrow, or whenever I find the time or inspiration...
I’ve learned firsthand that the majority of spiritual growth doesn’t take place under sunny skies; it takes place in the midst of torrential rain, ominous thunder, jagged lightning, and driving hail. Spiritual growth emerges from trials. Of course, I’ve heard the Christian-ese about trials ever since Sunday School: hard things in life bring us closer to God. Trite, but true. The sermons have gone even deeper: trials push us to the end of ourselves, to point of breaking, to the point of utter dependency on God. I always wondered when my times of trial would come, because it never seemed like I dealt with a lot of heavy-duty hardship growing up. Granted, my struggle with OCD and depression was a trial, but not quite of the same nature. No, God evidently needed to bring me to a point in my life where I was mentally and emotionally stable and had a stronger spiritual foundation before incorporating these types of trials to deepen my faith.
So, if I told you now what my trials have been over the past month, you would probably laugh. Even to me, they don’t seem to be very noteworthy in and of themselves. But I can’t ignore the fact that God has been at work in my life, despite the foolishness of appearances. I’ve never truly experienced Him in this way before. I should insert a very important note here: if you tell God that you want Him to mature you, that you’re tired of drinking milk and want to move on to solid food, that you want to learn how to stand in strength on your own two feet as a woman of God in the fullness of the faith – mean it. Be ready. Because He’ll do it, and He won’t waste any time getting started.
I'll continue this tomorrow, or whenever I find the time or inspiration...
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