Well, I have two test scores back now, and they weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be. I've decided that I can afford to take a breather this weekend. My class today was cancelled, so my weekend technically started last night. Everyone's jealous, but hey, I can't help it. I kicked it off last night with Bible study, prayer, and worship with Chris here in our room, cheering on Kris Allen as he secured his spot in the top 12, enjoying some good conversation over coffee at IHOP, having a sweet heart-to-heart with Ali, and then sleeping in this morning, so it couldn't have started out much better. :) This afternoon, I turned in the SGA forms asking for funding for a French concert next fall which I'm excited about, and now I'm looking forward to Cabin Fever night at BLS with lots of Swing and Latin...it should be a blast. Tomorrow morning, I'll be going to the Roland Crisis Closet to volunteer, probably drop by my house to visit my family for a while in the afternoon, and then go to a movie tomorrow night with Ali and my two future suitemates. :) Church is Sunday morning, and the Symphony's performance of Ode to Joy is Sunday afternoon. And...I just found some money I didn't know I had in a wallet I wasn't using in the back of my desk drawer. It's shaping up to be a fantastic weekend!
I hope yours is, too. :)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Feeling a bit battered...
Gah, I feel like I'm a horrible person. I've never felt such a strong urge to hate a professor or say such un-Jesusy things before. Fortunately, it was in the middle of a test, so I couldn't do anything -- but it took me a good 15 minutes to cool down and stay focused on the exam. He didn't give us a study guide before the test; he just told us to know everything from four book chapters, all of his lectures, and any bit of stray information that may have floated its way into the class. I made a detailed outline of one of the chapters, studied and highlighted the outlines of the other three that my classmates had written (after I'd read all three), and compiled all of my notes and studied them all the way through twice. I felt like I understood all of the material. He promised that he wouldn't be like his old college professor who wrote questions from the footnotes of chapters, but what did he do? He picked the trivia, the nitty-gritty details, and the things that weren't in bold type to write confusing fill-in-the-blank sentences and multiple choice trick questions. Now I know why everyone said they hated him and his god-forsaken tests. :\
I suppose that it didn't help that I had just finished a rather boring lecture on the causes of the Cold War and finished taking a French test that I didn't feel too confident about. I thought that I was ready for it, but I wasn't quite prepared for her exam style. At least I'll know for next time. As if I didn't feel battered enough by that point, this older French woman who hangs around and attends some of the classes came up to me in the hallway and asked if I was the French Club president. I could tell she wasn't asking just to say 'hello,' though. She evidently just wanted to know so that she could criticize me. I obviously wasn't doing an adequate job because she hadn't heard about the Mardi Gras party until Dr. Bailey mentioned crêpes to her last week. I tried to explain that it was planned at rather short notice, so the flyers weren't posted until late last week. That wasn't good enough for her evidently, and she had to complain about the fact that the meetings were advertised either. Of course, I had to try to communicate the fact we haven't *had* any meetings, because we've either been busy, had little interest, or hadn't had anything to meet about. The whole conversation felt like an attack, which irritated me. Of course, I haven't been a perfect or outstanding French Club President, but at least I'm trying to do *something* now.
The day did improve at the Mardi Gras party, though. There's just something about cheery Cajun music and fresh crêpes that makes everything alright with the world for a little while. I met a new Sénégalese exchange student from France and talked with him for a little while, and Dr. Bailey gave Cody and I some good ideas for French club activities. I need to apply for SAFA funding for next semester's activities later this week -- hopefully, I'll be a good president and remember. :P Unfortunately, there was a blight on even this delightful part of the day. Dr. Bailey informed me that only three upper-division French classes will be offered next fall: French Literature, taught by him, French Cinema, taught by Dr. Monty, and Advanced Grammar/Comp II, which I'm already taking. Essentially, that means I have to choose between a workload that will bring me to the brink of a nervous breakdown or a semester of hardcore feminism. Hmm, which will it be? *sigh* Can someone just shoot me now?
I wouldn't be so hesitant to take Dr. Monty again next semester if I didn't feel so abused in this class. I don't say much, so no one directly attacks me, but every rant seems to belittle my beliefs. I suppose that's not a big deal in and of itself, but in most cases, there is also a pervading attitude of condescension and disdain for anyone who could be "stupid enough" to hold those beliefs. Political viewpoints, moral convictions...it doesn't matter - they're all subject to criticism. That's why I wonder if I'm cut out for the Honors College. I've heard it's a tough place for Christians, but it's still so tempting because of the money available for studying abroad. I need to pray about it this week. One of the girls I've met recently in my classes is checking on the application process for me. If it works out, and if I feel led to do it, then it could provide me with a minor so that I can just major in French and double minor in International Studies and Honors. If I don't double minor in Honors, though, I'll still be looking for another minor. I'm not so sure I need to double major in I.S. and French anymore. Grad school can take care of that for me. Anyway.
After some rather irritating discussions about abortion, feminism, gay adoption, and socialized health care, I finally headed back to my room and decompressed for a little while before church. Amy's food was amazing tonight, and church was encouraging as usual. I love meeting God there every week - Sundays and Tuesdays - and now I'm even looking forward to meeting Him on Thursdays, too. Chris is coming up this week to meet with "us college kids," and I'm praying for amazing things to happen.
I suppose another highlight of the day was the free plate of pancakes at IHOP. Those were delicious. Granted, I need to work out hardcore tomorrow, but they were still delicious. ;) I've actually been very proud of the progress I've made in working out lately. Since all of the guys go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, it's easier to hold myself accountable and go three times a week. I've gotten in some good work, too, since the guys are challenging and I'm competitive. Caleb and Ian are great at making up goofy games, too. I can't believe the increase in stamina and energy I've noticed lately, just from having worked out regularly for a few weeks. I can now jog a mile without stopping or spend 20 minutes apiece on the elliptical, rowing, and stairstepping machines. Several weeks ago, that would have been close to impossible. :)
Anyway, I need to get some sleep now that the pressure is off; I've taken as much beating as I can for the day. Thank goodness that His mercy is new in the morning.
Oh. Bleh. I have to get up early-ish in the morning to run through the pronunciations in my vocal piece. I forgot to work on that this week. *sigh* Oh well. At least I've had ten years of practicing how to fake in music lessons. ;) Hehehe.
Grace and peace.
I suppose that it didn't help that I had just finished a rather boring lecture on the causes of the Cold War and finished taking a French test that I didn't feel too confident about. I thought that I was ready for it, but I wasn't quite prepared for her exam style. At least I'll know for next time. As if I didn't feel battered enough by that point, this older French woman who hangs around and attends some of the classes came up to me in the hallway and asked if I was the French Club president. I could tell she wasn't asking just to say 'hello,' though. She evidently just wanted to know so that she could criticize me. I obviously wasn't doing an adequate job because she hadn't heard about the Mardi Gras party until Dr. Bailey mentioned crêpes to her last week. I tried to explain that it was planned at rather short notice, so the flyers weren't posted until late last week. That wasn't good enough for her evidently, and she had to complain about the fact that the meetings were advertised either. Of course, I had to try to communicate the fact we haven't *had* any meetings, because we've either been busy, had little interest, or hadn't had anything to meet about. The whole conversation felt like an attack, which irritated me. Of course, I haven't been a perfect or outstanding French Club President, but at least I'm trying to do *something* now.
The day did improve at the Mardi Gras party, though. There's just something about cheery Cajun music and fresh crêpes that makes everything alright with the world for a little while. I met a new Sénégalese exchange student from France and talked with him for a little while, and Dr. Bailey gave Cody and I some good ideas for French club activities. I need to apply for SAFA funding for next semester's activities later this week -- hopefully, I'll be a good president and remember. :P Unfortunately, there was a blight on even this delightful part of the day. Dr. Bailey informed me that only three upper-division French classes will be offered next fall: French Literature, taught by him, French Cinema, taught by Dr. Monty, and Advanced Grammar/Comp II, which I'm already taking. Essentially, that means I have to choose between a workload that will bring me to the brink of a nervous breakdown or a semester of hardcore feminism. Hmm, which will it be? *sigh* Can someone just shoot me now?
I wouldn't be so hesitant to take Dr. Monty again next semester if I didn't feel so abused in this class. I don't say much, so no one directly attacks me, but every rant seems to belittle my beliefs. I suppose that's not a big deal in and of itself, but in most cases, there is also a pervading attitude of condescension and disdain for anyone who could be "stupid enough" to hold those beliefs. Political viewpoints, moral convictions...it doesn't matter - they're all subject to criticism. That's why I wonder if I'm cut out for the Honors College. I've heard it's a tough place for Christians, but it's still so tempting because of the money available for studying abroad. I need to pray about it this week. One of the girls I've met recently in my classes is checking on the application process for me. If it works out, and if I feel led to do it, then it could provide me with a minor so that I can just major in French and double minor in International Studies and Honors. If I don't double minor in Honors, though, I'll still be looking for another minor. I'm not so sure I need to double major in I.S. and French anymore. Grad school can take care of that for me. Anyway.
After some rather irritating discussions about abortion, feminism, gay adoption, and socialized health care, I finally headed back to my room and decompressed for a little while before church. Amy's food was amazing tonight, and church was encouraging as usual. I love meeting God there every week - Sundays and Tuesdays - and now I'm even looking forward to meeting Him on Thursdays, too. Chris is coming up this week to meet with "us college kids," and I'm praying for amazing things to happen.
I suppose another highlight of the day was the free plate of pancakes at IHOP. Those were delicious. Granted, I need to work out hardcore tomorrow, but they were still delicious. ;) I've actually been very proud of the progress I've made in working out lately. Since all of the guys go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, it's easier to hold myself accountable and go three times a week. I've gotten in some good work, too, since the guys are challenging and I'm competitive. Caleb and Ian are great at making up goofy games, too. I can't believe the increase in stamina and energy I've noticed lately, just from having worked out regularly for a few weeks. I can now jog a mile without stopping or spend 20 minutes apiece on the elliptical, rowing, and stairstepping machines. Several weeks ago, that would have been close to impossible. :)
Anyway, I need to get some sleep now that the pressure is off; I've taken as much beating as I can for the day. Thank goodness that His mercy is new in the morning.
Oh. Bleh. I have to get up early-ish in the morning to run through the pronunciations in my vocal piece. I forgot to work on that this week. *sigh* Oh well. At least I've had ten years of practicing how to fake in music lessons. ;) Hehehe.
Grace and peace.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Alarm Clocks and Gold Standards
God reminds me of my alarm clock. Every morning it when it sings to me, I hit the snooze button, and every time I hit the snooze button, it sings the same thing again nine minutes later. The Holy Spirit seems kind of like that to me: my ever-faithful Reminder. There are times when I think I've learned my lesson, but He keeps coming back and reinforcing it - maybe not every nine minutes, but always at the right time. His faithful reminders are what make the difference for poor, dumb, blundering, forgetful sheep like me, because I have a tendency to forget even the most obvious of spiritual truths, and I have an even stronger tendency to forget to live them out every day.
I realized today that my spiritual alarm clock has been singing to me lately, saying, "Don't waste your life." I've learned that lesson before; I even wrote a speech about it. But that's the thing about living the Christian life -- God never stops refining you, reminding you of those lessons. Over the past few weeks, through numerous friends and a few powerful songs, he's reminded me how fleeting and how precious life is. One of the most dangerous aspects of college life is the temptation to get caught up in the daily routine and forget the value of those days.
I tend to measure the value of a day like the United States measures the value of a dollar: relatively. Without a gold standard, the value of a dollar depends on the market, on inflation, on public opinion. What is it worth today? What will it buy for me? Likewise, with time, I wonder, "What is it worth to me today?" or "What will it buy for me?" I forget that time, unlike money, does operate on a gold standard. God gives an unchanging value to every day, an intrinsic worth. The question is, do I choose to value time based on my own fluctuating desires and standards, or do I choose to value time with God's mindset? The truth is, my time can purchase more things of higher value when I use His eternal value system. Colossians 3:1-4 explains, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Dying to myself and being raised with Christ means that I no longer belong to myself, and time is valued by what brings Him the most glory, not what satisfies my desires.
Larry Red wanted to retire in a few years, buy a Winnebago, explore the country's best fishing spots, and start a band. During his near-death experience in the hospital last week, he realized just how fleeting life is and reexamined his value system. I felt the passion in his voice as he urged all of the young adults in our church body to live each day as if it were our last, and then he shared his new plan: to buy a Winnebago, tour the country, start a rock 'n' roll worship band, and share the testimony of how God has miraculously saved and transformed his life. That's a life sold out to God -- a life that values time on a heavenly standard.
Several contemporary musical artists have poignantly captured the truth about the value of time in their song lyrics:
"Every day is a gift we've been given; make the most of the time every minute you're livin'." - Life Means So Much by Chris RIce
"Welcome to the fallout. Welcome to resistance. The tension is here; the tension is here, between who you are and who you could be, between how it is and how it should be." - Dare You to Move by Switchfoot
"This is your time. This is your dance. Live every moment. leave nothing to chance. Swim in the sea. Drink of the deep. Embrace the mystery of all you can be. This is your time." - This Is Your Time by Michael W. Smith
Last Tuesday night, two of the amazing guys in our church body brought these ethereal lyrics down to earth for me. They began to communicate their mutual dislike of mid-life birthdays and the generally uncomfortable feeling that accompanies them. One shared that he feels uneasy thinking about being forty years old; after all, at forty, life seems halfway over. There are two questions that he knows he must ask of himself: "What have I done with the first half of my life?" and "What do I have to show for it?" My focus instantly snapped to my own life. At twenty, am I wasting my life? What am I doing of eternal value every day? In another twenty years, what kind of account will I be able to give for the life entrusted to me?
These are tough questions, but I'm grateful for the grace of God that allows me to wrestle with them. I know I'll never have it together, and I know I'll never be able to value time by God's perfect gold standard, but at least I can wake up each morning and give it everything I have, living out Romans 12:2: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Thank you, God, for being my spiritual alarm clock.
I realized today that my spiritual alarm clock has been singing to me lately, saying, "Don't waste your life." I've learned that lesson before; I even wrote a speech about it. But that's the thing about living the Christian life -- God never stops refining you, reminding you of those lessons. Over the past few weeks, through numerous friends and a few powerful songs, he's reminded me how fleeting and how precious life is. One of the most dangerous aspects of college life is the temptation to get caught up in the daily routine and forget the value of those days.
I tend to measure the value of a day like the United States measures the value of a dollar: relatively. Without a gold standard, the value of a dollar depends on the market, on inflation, on public opinion. What is it worth today? What will it buy for me? Likewise, with time, I wonder, "What is it worth to me today?" or "What will it buy for me?" I forget that time, unlike money, does operate on a gold standard. God gives an unchanging value to every day, an intrinsic worth. The question is, do I choose to value time based on my own fluctuating desires and standards, or do I choose to value time with God's mindset? The truth is, my time can purchase more things of higher value when I use His eternal value system. Colossians 3:1-4 explains, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Dying to myself and being raised with Christ means that I no longer belong to myself, and time is valued by what brings Him the most glory, not what satisfies my desires.
Larry Red wanted to retire in a few years, buy a Winnebago, explore the country's best fishing spots, and start a band. During his near-death experience in the hospital last week, he realized just how fleeting life is and reexamined his value system. I felt the passion in his voice as he urged all of the young adults in our church body to live each day as if it were our last, and then he shared his new plan: to buy a Winnebago, tour the country, start a rock 'n' roll worship band, and share the testimony of how God has miraculously saved and transformed his life. That's a life sold out to God -- a life that values time on a heavenly standard.
Several contemporary musical artists have poignantly captured the truth about the value of time in their song lyrics:
"Every day is a gift we've been given; make the most of the time every minute you're livin'." - Life Means So Much by Chris RIce
"Welcome to the fallout. Welcome to resistance. The tension is here; the tension is here, between who you are and who you could be, between how it is and how it should be." - Dare You to Move by Switchfoot
"This is your time. This is your dance. Live every moment. leave nothing to chance. Swim in the sea. Drink of the deep. Embrace the mystery of all you can be. This is your time." - This Is Your Time by Michael W. Smith
Last Tuesday night, two of the amazing guys in our church body brought these ethereal lyrics down to earth for me. They began to communicate their mutual dislike of mid-life birthdays and the generally uncomfortable feeling that accompanies them. One shared that he feels uneasy thinking about being forty years old; after all, at forty, life seems halfway over. There are two questions that he knows he must ask of himself: "What have I done with the first half of my life?" and "What do I have to show for it?" My focus instantly snapped to my own life. At twenty, am I wasting my life? What am I doing of eternal value every day? In another twenty years, what kind of account will I be able to give for the life entrusted to me?
These are tough questions, but I'm grateful for the grace of God that allows me to wrestle with them. I know I'll never have it together, and I know I'll never be able to value time by God's perfect gold standard, but at least I can wake up each morning and give it everything I have, living out Romans 12:2: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Thank you, God, for being my spiritual alarm clock.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Busy week...
I probably don't have time to do this, but I'm going to make a quick post anyway. I have a few short things written up in random notebooks from boring classes that I planned to post later, but I haven't gotten around to it, and honestly, they're probably not worth reading.
Mishal and I cooked dinner for Caleb, Drew, and Trevor tonight, and it reminded me how much I really, really miss my kitchen. Cooking is stress relief. Mishal pieced together recipes for a North African-themed meal with strip steaks, carrots, shredded potatoes, mushrooms, salad, and pumpkin pie -- and it was amazing. I've never cooked carrots with garlic, cumin, paprika, and coriander before, but it was an interesting flavor combination. We threw in a little bit of liquid reserved from the cooked mushrooms and a little bit of beef broth, and I think it added the body they needed. Anyway, the only seasoning the steak needed was the flavored butter she made, and the potatoes only needed olive oil, onions, chicken seasoning, and paprika. They were a beautiful caramelized color and tasted as good as they looked. We topped off the evening with a pumpkin pie fight, so it really couldn't have gotten any better.
Now back to the real world, I guess. I have four tests this week: French Civilization on Tuesday, International Relations Critical Thinking on Wednesday, Comparative Politics part one on Thursday, and International Relations on Friday. My workbooks and hypothesis project are due in Comparative on Tuesday, and I have a little bit of homework to finish up for my other French class. That shouldn't be too bad, but I still need to set aside some time to practice the vocal music that Dr. Antolik gave me to work on. At least after this week, I won't have to feel like I'm going crazy...it'll all be behind me.
Time for bed for me...maybe I'll take a break later this week and post something else.
Mishal and I cooked dinner for Caleb, Drew, and Trevor tonight, and it reminded me how much I really, really miss my kitchen. Cooking is stress relief. Mishal pieced together recipes for a North African-themed meal with strip steaks, carrots, shredded potatoes, mushrooms, salad, and pumpkin pie -- and it was amazing. I've never cooked carrots with garlic, cumin, paprika, and coriander before, but it was an interesting flavor combination. We threw in a little bit of liquid reserved from the cooked mushrooms and a little bit of beef broth, and I think it added the body they needed. Anyway, the only seasoning the steak needed was the flavored butter she made, and the potatoes only needed olive oil, onions, chicken seasoning, and paprika. They were a beautiful caramelized color and tasted as good as they looked. We topped off the evening with a pumpkin pie fight, so it really couldn't have gotten any better.
Now back to the real world, I guess. I have four tests this week: French Civilization on Tuesday, International Relations Critical Thinking on Wednesday, Comparative Politics part one on Thursday, and International Relations on Friday. My workbooks and hypothesis project are due in Comparative on Tuesday, and I have a little bit of homework to finish up for my other French class. That shouldn't be too bad, but I still need to set aside some time to practice the vocal music that Dr. Antolik gave me to work on. At least after this week, I won't have to feel like I'm going crazy...it'll all be behind me.
Time for bed for me...maybe I'll take a break later this week and post something else.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Another boring class
So, I’m going to sit in Comparative Politics class again today and write for my own pleasure, because I’ve already studied Stanley Milgram’s “authority” experiment at least three times.
I’m currently addicted to new song, “Gotta Be Somebody” by Nickelback. The fact that I really like a Nickelback song is still surprising to me, since that particular band has never really appealed to me, but there always seems to be that one song that can reach out and grab you when you’re not expecting it. Fortunately, though, we don’t have to watch music performed live anymore, because watching Nickelback would annoy the heck out of me. I watched the music video for the song this morning while I was waiting for class to start, and the lead singer looks like he’s having an epileptic seizure with all of his head-bobbing and eye-blinking.
I'm also really enjoying the book "Lest Innocent Blood Be Shed" right now. It was assigned for the history class I'm taking, but it's one of the best assigned books I've ever had to read. It's the story of the French village of Le Chambon-sur-Lignon and the people who lived there and sheltered Jews during WWII, and there's a lot more spiritual significance in the story than I expected. The Protestant pastor of the village and his wife were instrumental in the rescue efforts, although in their eyes, they were only doing something that needed to be done. They didn't see themselves as heros. It's the best kind of historical human interest story - one with humble Christian servants at the heart of it. I'm learning so much more than Dr. Jones ever expected we would.
By the way, on a completely different subject, it’s hard to believe that my brother is old enough to be attending the week-long TeenPact class. Mom e-mailed me pictures this morning of Isaac in his suit, and I must say he looks pretty spiffy. I hope that this week provides him with as many amazing memories as my TeenPact experiences did for me. I still remember the slapstick bill skits, the crazy mock legislature debates, the powerful prayer walks, and the intense camaraderie that developed within each class, and I’m really not sure if I’d ever had that much fun in the span of four days before. TeenPact had such an incredible role in shaping my life; hopefully, God will use it to do some awesome things in Isaac's life, too.
Well, class is long over, since I wasn't able to finish this earlier, and I'm ready for bed now. It's a lot later than I realized. Fortunately I don't have class until 10am tomorrow. :) 'Til later...
I’m currently addicted to new song, “Gotta Be Somebody” by Nickelback. The fact that I really like a Nickelback song is still surprising to me, since that particular band has never really appealed to me, but there always seems to be that one song that can reach out and grab you when you’re not expecting it. Fortunately, though, we don’t have to watch music performed live anymore, because watching Nickelback would annoy the heck out of me. I watched the music video for the song this morning while I was waiting for class to start, and the lead singer looks like he’s having an epileptic seizure with all of his head-bobbing and eye-blinking.
I'm also really enjoying the book "Lest Innocent Blood Be Shed" right now. It was assigned for the history class I'm taking, but it's one of the best assigned books I've ever had to read. It's the story of the French village of Le Chambon-sur-Lignon and the people who lived there and sheltered Jews during WWII, and there's a lot more spiritual significance in the story than I expected. The Protestant pastor of the village and his wife were instrumental in the rescue efforts, although in their eyes, they were only doing something that needed to be done. They didn't see themselves as heros. It's the best kind of historical human interest story - one with humble Christian servants at the heart of it. I'm learning so much more than Dr. Jones ever expected we would.
By the way, on a completely different subject, it’s hard to believe that my brother is old enough to be attending the week-long TeenPact class. Mom e-mailed me pictures this morning of Isaac in his suit, and I must say he looks pretty spiffy. I hope that this week provides him with as many amazing memories as my TeenPact experiences did for me. I still remember the slapstick bill skits, the crazy mock legislature debates, the powerful prayer walks, and the intense camaraderie that developed within each class, and I’m really not sure if I’d ever had that much fun in the span of four days before. TeenPact had such an incredible role in shaping my life; hopefully, God will use it to do some awesome things in Isaac's life, too.
Well, class is long over, since I wasn't able to finish this earlier, and I'm ready for bed now. It's a lot later than I realized. Fortunately I don't have class until 10am tomorrow. :) 'Til later...
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