only two days?!

My life here changes so quickly, and I forget you guys are in the dark until I update you! The biggest news is that I'm moving to a different house on Saturday (and Saturday can't come quickly enough!). The past few days have been really rough, but I've learned some important lessons.

Yesterday morning, I paid a visit to another family to take a look at my second housing option. It was definitely agreeable, but not quite what I wanted in the long run. I didn't want to be tied down to obligatory family dinners every night, and to be honest, the room was rather cramped. I liked the flexibility, privacy, and space of the other room - and it costs less too, because food is available on a pay-as-you-go basis. And, I can still have contact with the family without it becoming a hindrance. Anyway...I came home and asked Jacqueline if she'd gone to the university to talk with the housing department, and I honestly wasn't prepared for the tirade that followed. She spent a good ten or fifteen minutes on it, and I'm not sure exactly when she came up for air. She had to show me the paper from the university which outlined all the rules she could make and that she was going to implement in the future because of her bad experience with me. Then she told me how she was going to begin counting down my "one month's notice" from yesterday, the 8th, not the 6th, when I first talked to her, so that I would owe her for some of March's rent in addition to the February rent I'd already paid. She informed me in no uncertain terms that I would pay her for one-third of March's rent (even though I only owed for 8 days), and when I tried to ask her why she didn't divide the rent by four (since there are four weeks in a month, not three), she told me it wouldn't work because that would add up to 32 days in March and "there aren't 32 days in March, so you'll pay me a third." I just let that go, because there wasn't any use in arguing, which left her free to explain to me that if another student became available to take my place anytime before the 8th of March, I would be forced to leave. And then she continued by asking me why I wanted to go to the trouble of leaving anyway, for just a few months. I tried to explain the difficulty of living so far from the university, and wanting to make sure I was safe at night, and she threw it back at me by saying, "Well, you come home late every night, so I can't understand why you'd be concerned about that!" My attempts at explaining the difficulties with the bus were futile, because she just assumed a condescending tone and told me to get to the bus stop on time and make a signal to the bus, because "it's that simple! The busses don't wait for Grace, you know." Her tone really hurt my feelings, especially when she made the dig at my sense of responsibility, because I've been trying so hard to do my best at figuring out a new country and staying safe at the same time. Then she had to twist the knife by telling me that I have parents who take care of me and she doesn't, even though I tried to explain that they're not rich, either. She honestly didn't want to listen to anything I said. By the time she had finished with me, all I could do was walk down the stairs and collapse on my bed. It was 6am in Arkansas, but Dad was awake, so I started a video chat and burst into tears. I'm so thankful for him. He listened, and reminded me that it wasn't about me, and reassured me that he would support me in whatever I needed to do. That, and an awesome chat with Ian, Caleb, Matt, and Max, helped me pull myself together, and go up to the university to talk with the housing office myself. Let me tell you -- I did SO much praying on the way there!

So, I explained my situation to the ladies in the office, and they chuckled a bit before reassuring me that she couldn't actually make good on any of her threats. She can't make me move out before the 8th, and she can't make me pay extra rent. By the time I walked out of that office, I had not only made my decision to move to the house that I mentioned before (which is closer to the university than the other one and closer to Kendra, too) but made arrangements to move this Saturday. And - get this - I found out that because they can replace me with another student on the 22nd, Jacqueline owes ME money! Yes, after all that we went through...she owes me rent for the part of February I won't be living here. I was laughing out loud when I walked out the door, and I'm sure everyone outside was wondering what was wrong with this crazy girl, laughing at nothing and no one. Well, that's not exactly true. I was laughing at God's sense of humor, and reveling in the joy of knowing that He answered my prayer (in the most ironic way I could think of, no less!). Anyway, I had another little conversation with Jacqueline that night when I got home from choir practice, and I asked her what the university had said when they called (because they called as I left the office). She said she knew that I was leaving Saturday, but that they hadn't said anything else in particular. Funny...it seems there was one other thing they mentioned.....

Anyway, she's made a point of making my life miserable since then. She confronted me about using the heater in my kitchen downstairs when I wasn't cooking, saying that it was entirely too warm down there and I was wasting energy. I tried to explain that my room was cold, so I was just using my computer there for a little while to eat and stay warm, but she wouldn't have any of it. I could see it wasn't going anywhere, so after she'd thoroughly said her piece, I just said I was sorry, and she told me she didn't want me to say I was sorry because "that doesn't mean anything. I just want you to comport yourself normally, and not heat rooms excessively. That's just unacceptable." I tried to explain that when I said I was sorry, that meant I was sorry and I would try to respect her better in the future...but I don't think she really understood. All I could do was just tell her thank you and walk away before I said something out of anger. In any case, the drama continued today when I was sitting in the kitchen after cooking lunch. I only had one heater on, and it was pleasant but not too warm (by any means) in the kitchen, and I was cooking and eating, not anything else, so I thought I was following her instructions. Still, I cringed when I heard her coming, and for good reason. As soon as she opened the door, she hit the light switch and started huffing as she crossed the room about how it was surely "warm enough" in there. I tried to talk to her before she went outside to let the dogs go to the bathroom, but she told me to wait, so I just got up and turned the light back on. :P I had to stop her on her way back through to ask her if there was a problem, and she asked me why I needed the light on to eat. I admit that I told her liked to see what I was eating (because obviously, it's not an extravagant measure to turn the light on when you're eating lunch), to which she responded with another lecture about not wasting energy, and about how much energy costs in France (she didn't know about the US) and how when she was young they only turned things on when they needed them. *sigh* She told me I could do work upstairs in order to save energy downstairs, so I took her at her word and did some homework upstairs while she was gone this afternoon. Unfortunately, she didn't tell me I wasn't allowed to drink coffee in the living room, so she made a huffy comment about that, too, when she got home - after she told me to move to the other chair so she could sit on the couch. (Because it's not like I wouldn't have moved if she had just asked...)

Anyway, after all of the drama of yesterday and today, I was just exhausted. It started weighing on me more and more, and I started taking it personally. It's tough when every time you try to fix one problem, someone is coming along behind you, obsessively searching for another one to point out. I honestly think that she should write a rule book that details the "right way" to do everything in her house, from the exact measurement of force necessary to shut off the water faucet properly to how many minutes one can use a light bulb until it becomes "excessive" to which kind of sponge is acceptable for washing pans as opposed to dishes. (Yes, Soni told me that Jacqueline informed her there is a difference.)

So, why do I relate all of this? First of all, it's NOT to complain or to make you hate her. I just needed to be honest about what's been going on in my life and to let you know what's been happening so my other updates don't sound odd and out of context. Second of all, it IS to provide a background for the lessons I have learned. A friend of mine reminded me today that it's easy to become bitter in situations like these, and that I should be careful to guard my heart so that bitterness doesn't creep in. He was absolutely right, and I realized that I needed to repent of some of that already. Since then, I've asked the Holy Spirit to renew my mind so that I can reflect his love instead of project my selfish desire for the kind of treatment I think I "deserve." Please pray for Jacqueline. People who treat others the way she does, people who live only by the rules with no hope for grace, can't have truly experienced the love, mercy, and grace of God in their own lives.

That said, I'm still looking forward to moving on Saturday. Maybe then I'll be able to better settle into a routine and be able to focus more on my studies without being mentally and emotionally weighed down by the turmoil in the house. I feel like I haven't given proper attention to homework...but then again, there really hasn't been much that I would actually call "homework." It's more like self-directed learning. No quizzes, no tests, no assignments that count for anything right now. Of course, it's better to stay prepared, but I think I can allow myself this grace period, considering that it's taken me a couple of weeks to *find* the right classes, I've had an injured knee to contend with, and now I've been faced with landlady issues. It's a lot to handle. It'll all be fine. :)

Oh sweet, I just remembered class starts a little later tomorrow, so that gives me some time to sleep - awesome. I hope you all are enjoying your snow days (those of you in Arkansas or Virginia). It snowed this afternoon here, but nothing stuck. It's just bitterly cold! I'm staying properly fueled with plenty of French bread, cheese, and chocolate, though, so don't worry about me. ;)

And thanks for reading this...whoever actually read all the way to the end...and leave me a comment if you have time so I know I'm not writing into thin air. ;) I love hearing from you guys. Bisous!