That brings me to Thursday. More classes, nothing extremely remarkable. Still a lot of mental processing going on, though. Kendra and I started talking about how we were feeling after our first week and a half abroad, and we decided that it felt good to have a separation from life at UCA. After being immersed in that for over two years, it has almost become like a cocoon, so it’s helpful to take a step back, or in this case, a huge leap back. From here, it’s much easier to have a fresh perspective on life. As Kendra said, being here is means that parts of you are being drained that have never been drained before, but the other parts of you are being refilled and refreshed. Another thought? Living on my own here is so much different from “living on my own” at UCA. And, I’ve realized that it’s okay to not figure all of this out perfectly the first time. Learning by trial and error is a process I’m finally learning to accept. I’ve also found it much easier to look at life with a bigger picture mindset -- beyond college life. University classes and credits and hours are just little paths in life that move you from Point A to Point B. Why keep staring at the road when you can look up and find relationships and the little experiences in life that make the journey worthwhile? :) There’s nothing like a little perspective.
So, Friday afternoon, I decided to take a trip to the Carrefour, because I was almost out of groceries and needed school supplies. I had four hours before my night class, so I figured I had enough time to catch the bus over and get back in time. I did make it there, fortunately, and I found most of what I needed, but things got interesting when I tried to get back. An African man struck up a conversation with me at the bus stop, and he seemed pretty friendly. I couldn't understand his french, so he switched to english, which I could hardly understand either. We chatted about studies and work - you know, the usual small talk. He said he came from Darfur, Sudan, a year ago, and I couldn’t quite catch what he does here in Angers. But he kept getting more specific about what I was studying, where I was studying, and where I lived...to which I gave very vague responses. And then he goes, "You have family?" Yes, in the US: a mom, dad, brother, sister. “Baby, you have baby?” Oh, noooo, I don't. “Ah, ok ok." And then he leans in closer. "I'm looking for baby, you give me number for you?" Uhhh. No. “No? You no give me your number?" No. Thanks though. "Ah ok. What is your name?" Katrine. :P
*sigh* Never a dull moment here. And then ended up getting on the bus going the wrong way, and had to get off and turn around...lugging a HUGE bag and a stuffed backpack, because I underestimated how much I would have to carry. I thought my arms were going to fall off by the time I got home, and my shoulders are still sore. :P Oh well, another lesson to chalk up to trial and error.
So Friday night was my first ALP class, i.e. crash course in Angers history, art, language, and culture. It was actually really interesting, although it will take some work to remember all of the names and dates and stories. Kendra and a friend unexpectedly picked me up after class to go to Bible study at the evangelical church. They’re beginning a study of Habakkuk, which I admit I’ve never read. (I don’t know a lot of people who have!) It was good, but it made me miss Christ Church a lot. There wasn’t anything wrong with the Bible study - not at all - it was just one of those times when I realized that I just don’t feel at home. It’ll take some time.
Anyway, Saturday afternoon was my first ALP excursion. We were going to visit the cathedral St. Maurice, l’Abbaye Toussaint, la Galerie de David d’Angers, and some other historical landmarks, and I was looking forward to it because the sun had actually come out. Of course, by the time I arrived at the school, the sun was hiding behind the clouds, and it was starting to snow. :P Figures. I hadn’t worn my heavy coat because I’d gotten much too warm the day before. Again, it figures. We all nearly froze to death walking around Angers, and let me tell you: it’s really hard to take notes by hand in blowing snow. Ugh. It’s also really difficult to take notes on an outdoor lecture about architecture and art when you don’t know how to spell the vocabulary you’ve never seen before. 0_o
By the time Saturday evening rolled around, I was tired and discouraged and frozen through, but trying my hardest to hold it together. After all, I’m in France - I should be having a great time, right? Yeah. It’s hard to feel that way after a week like that. I started talking to Ali and my mom that night, and I fell apart, and then I felt worse because I felt guilty for not holding it together. :P But, Ali and mom both encouraged me and helped me to learn a valuable lesson: life has rough spots wherever you are, even in the most idealized country of all, and you don’t have to pretend that everything’s perfect when it isn’t. It’s okay to have a bad week, and it’s completely understandable to feel less-than-ideal after adjusting to so many new things in such a short time. Another valuable lesson I learned? It’s ok to ask for help, and just because I’m here doesn’t mean I don’t need my support network back home. God gave them to me for a reason. :)
Sunday morning, one of the young ladies from the evangelical church came to pick me up with Kendra and Gilly in tow. I was looking forward to the Sunday service, but I was a little nervous too. I found that it’s about the size of Christ Church, probably smaller. They start by interspersing songs with commentary on a passage of Scripture - that day it was Joshua 1:7-9 (big surprise...God's been teaching me about courage and refuge everywhere ).
Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
The encouragement of that verse and the songs were just what I needed to hear. Of course, I was getting teary-eyed, so it was hard to sing, but some of the tunes were familiar, like translations of Shout to the Lord and I Need Thee Every Hour. So, after God had encouraged me to be courageous and strong in Him by reminding me that He will make me successful in accomplishing His plan in His time, and even though I am weak and cannot keep from turning left and right from His law, that I am covered by His blood - yes, after that - we prayed together, like popcorn prayer, and then took the Lord's Supper. That was when I felt like God actually said something to me again. (He keeps doing that here.) I put the cracker in my mouth and I felt like He was saying "I am in you and you are in Me." Which completely pulled together everything He's been teaching me lately, from the Psalms, from songs, from encouragement from people. I've been reading about how He's my refuge and my strength, and from the song “This is Home” the other day, I felt like He was telling me that in Him, I am home. And then Sunday, He made me realize that Him being in me, and me being in Him by His body and blood - that IS what refuge means. I never leave His refuge, because He is in me, and I am always in Him.
It probably sounds stupidly simple, but I felt like I *understood* for the first time. Anyway, the preacher then got up and gave a message on Acts 20:16-38, where Paul is talking to the Ephesian elders, and how what he says outlines how the church should be. I was really happy that I was understanding most of the French. And then, after more prayer, they ended the service, we got to talk to several people, including a homeschooling family from London who was in town visiting family. They still get strange looks for homeschooling in England, because it's so rare. Anyway, we started getting to know the people better, and soon, we all ate lunch together. The pastor’s wife makes it and some stay to share the meal every week. It's only 2 euros, if you can pay. So, we took advantage of the opportunity to visit with French Christians, chatting with the few college girls who go there. The pastor asked me about Christ Church, too, and he was interested by the idea of us teaching each other during the service.
And I ate SO MUCH. It was really good.
I also found out that the bus system really has been taking advantage of me. One of the girls told me that they sell a 1 week pass, but no one told me about that when I went to the terminal. I don't even think it was listed on the sign. Of course, it's to their advantage to have me buy a ticket each time, because they're only valid for an hour after their first use. Unfortunately, the 10 tickets I bought = the price of a one week pass. :P But as Mom said, God knows what they did. ;)
Sunday afternoon was the benefit concert put on by Jacqueline’s choir, and she was kind enough to pay for my ticket! I asked to be dropped off at the church where I thought it was after we left church, and it was empty. I thought it was because I was an hour early, so I started taking pictures, and then I noticed the sign that advertised the concert, which was at a different church. :P I didn't know which streets connected where, because my map didn't detail all of them, so I headed off in what I thought might be a good direction to find a main road, and I found a park that was on the map, and then I realized that the road up the hill looked familiar. I started thanking God for my semi-photographic memory, because I remembered where I was from the one time she drove me to church, and I was able to figure out how to get back to my street, and then to the right church. It was a good 45 minute walk, but I made it just in time. :) A nd the concert was so wonderful. There's nothing like hearing French people sing What a Wonderful World. ;) One of these days I’ll find an internet connection fast enough to upload my video of it. Anyway, the music was so enjoyable. I find that choral and classical music concerts are my favorite way of relaxing and refreshing my mind. :)
Just in case you were worrying/wondering, Jacqueline and I are getting along quite well now. We just needed to get used to one another. Now I think we’re reaching the point where we can be friends. I asked her how I could pray for her the other day, and I realized that she is still carrying all of the pain from her son’s death and her husband’s leaving. Please pray for her, that God would release her from that bondage and bring her peace.
That’s about all I have to say for now. I feel much better, being caught up. I’ll try not to get behind anymore, if only to keep it from bothering me. :P I know, I’m weird. Anyway, à bientôt - may the God of peace shelter you beneath His wings.
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